Covid ‘sofa variant’ to keep the country locked down until Christmas
The next unlocking date for the country is looking in doubt after a new Covid variant was found down the back of the PM’s new sofa.
‘We knew it was somewhere, but no one could remember where they had last seen it,’ a No.10 spokesman said. ‘We were beginning to panic that we would have no reason to keep the country locked down. Then the PM said ‘hang on, I’ve had an idea,’ looked behind the cushions on his new sofa and pulled it out. We are very lucky that the PM found the Sofa Variant, or we might have had to open up the country.’
The spokesman continued, ‘If everyone could keep an eye out for new variants and send any new ones to the Ministry for Scaremongering, Whitehall, that would be very helpful. We still hope to completely unlock the country by 2050.’