Breaking News: UK’s new Zero Food policy: 100% cut in your food intake by 2030 to stop climate change

‘Britain will lead the way in solving the climate problem with a simple 100% reduction in our food intake’

The government today announced plans to be the first country to implement a so-called Zero Food’ policy. ‘By 2030,’ said Javier Blimp, Minister for Culture, Hospitality and Population Control, ‘We aim to have reduced food intake for most people in the country by 100%.’

That sounds a lot

When questioned he admitted that it was going to be hard to meet the target, owing to ‘people being used to eating food. The prospect of not eating food is a new idea that we have to get over with Fear, Propaganda and Bullying, as we did with the Covid stuff.’

But won’t people die without food?

‘If this happened today then yes, people would die,’ Blimp admitted. ‘But we are sure that by 2030 our scientists will have developed food substitute that will easily feed the entire population. Of course there may be a few issues at the start, but I don’t envisage any one I care for dying.

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