Church holds service at Wembley so that hymns can legally be sung

‘The Covid restrictions are insane,’ said rector Tommy Govern today, after renting Wembley Stadium for next Sunday’s service. ‘We are not allowed to sing in church, but I have just watched thousands of fans singing at the England match. This government is placing sport above worship.’

Loophole

‘Singing is allowed at sporting events,’ he continued. ‘So we will have an inter-Church Football tournament every week on the pitch, whilst the congregation sings hymns and listens to a sermon in the stands. If this is the only way that we can legally worship our Lord and Saviour, so be it.‘