Anyone returning to UK after next Wednesday ‘has to quarantine forever’

Life can return to normal with never-ending quarantine

Leaked government guidelines show that they are about to introduce a ‘Forever Quarantine’. Speaking to the press the minister for Lying to the Public, Cathy Pollert admitted that this was the case.

‘We are proud to annouce this world-beating new policy that will knock Covid on the head and make sure that the UK is once again able to welcome people from around the world to our shores – as long as they don;t mind quarantining forever. But that is a small requirement compared with killing your granny, which might happen if they ever went outside again.

Human rights?

When questioned about the human rights aspects of this law, Pollert sniggered and said ‘Our lawyers are better funded than anyone else’s. And we make the laws. The only possible way to escape Forever Quarantine will be a big donation to a political party of our choice.’

Continued on page 24. 

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